#4| A love letter to the survivors of sexual assault.

A couple of days ago two pretty famous people in Russia, a married couple, made some nasty comments regarding women who survived sexual assault and abusive relationships. (Your sadly typical "you should not have been dressed this-or-that way", "you were asking for it by...")

Interestingly enough, the wife has received plenty of criticism (obviously) and has already apologized twice. She claims to have decided to turn her platform into a safer space for survivors and has even reached out to some organizations that help survivors in Russia. While her sincerity is still questionable to me, I find it much easier to have empathy and grace for her than for her husband. In all honesty, he has been a total a-hole about the whole situation, calling people names in his comment section on IG (full of pretty heated comments too) and has shown absolutely ZERO remorse or compassion towards those he had hurt.

All this to say, we still have a LONG ASS way to go in my country and the world as a whole until we reach a point where women are finally able to freely speak up about their experiences and feel safe, heard and protected. OR how about not even have to deal with being treated as an object? How is that for an idea?

I have had a few women that I dearly cherish share their stories with me. Part of me feels deeply honored that I was able to hold those sacred, hopefully safe spaces for them to open up. Another part of me feels angry. Like, really really angry for them.

In this little blog, however, I do not want to be like that husband, spewing hate and rage. (Lord knows I have done a LOT of that back in the day and, frankly, looking back I do not see how I was any better or more noble than the other party)

So for all of you who happen to be reading this, if you are a survivor, please please PLEASE know that:

1) It was not nothing. It happened. It was real.

2) No, it was not your fault and you did NOT deserve it.

3) It is entirely up to you if you want to press charges and relive that trauma again.

4) I hope with everything that is in me that you have people in your life who help you feel validated in your pain.

5) You are SO SO brave (yes, yes I know you did not have a choice, but let's still acknowledge that), loved and beautiful. ALL. OF. YOU.

Love,
E.



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