#1| A love letter to mamas.

Moms are superhuman to me. Always have been, always will be. For that very reason, whenever I see a mama being hard on herself, my heart breaks and I jump into a "how many encouraging words can I fit into the time I can spend with this mama" kind of mode. It comes as no surprise, then, that my first love letter is to mamas. ALL mamas. If it touches you, please feel free to share with a mama friend who you love and want to uplift. 

Here it is. 

Dear new mama,

I see you. 

I see you trying to figure out this new role you have been given. I see you terrified out of your life looking at a tiny human that is now pretty much fully dependent on you to stay alive. I see you struggling to make even the slightest bit of sense of what has just happened to your body. I see you looking at yourself in the mirror and not recognizing the person looking back at you. 

I see you trying to navigate this life, get to know the new you AND your baby. I see you overanalyzing and second guessing every little thing you try to implement in your new routine and every choice you make. I see you breaking into million pieces when you get those judgmental stares or hear demeaning comments. (They sting especially violently at first) I hear it replaying over and over in your head “Am I doing this right? Am I good enough?” I see you trying to still maintain the bits and pieces of “normal” that once was. I see you, sleep-deprived, running on empty, still healing, still highly hormonal. I see you milliseconds away from being at your breaking point, yet still somehow getting up and doing this all over again. 

What I would like for you to know, dear new mama, is how much I hope that you give yourself enough grace and time. To adjust, to befriend the new you and, at the same time, grieve the parts of your life that motherhood will either take away forever or alter to the point where nothing is familiar anymore. 

Dear new mama, you are on a path towards uncovering strength that you never knew existed within you. You are on a journey towards knowing a love that is so profound it will not seem real to you. Please stick with it, dear new mama. Please show that same love to yourself. You deserve it. 

Dear mama of 2, 5, 10..

I see you thinking “I’ve got this. We have been here before. I know what to expect”.  Yet the new challenges and learning curves never fail to blow you away. I see you worrying about how the other kids will handle the news. I see you questioning your ability to fit more love into your heart than there already is. (Like how is it humanly possible?) I see you trying to, once again, create a way of arranging your every day that will accommodate not just one, but a few precious little lives and meet their needs. 

I see you, ridden with guilt for may be not giving the oldest one enough attention today. (Did I love him/her enough? Did I do enough to show him/her that he/she is still my baby too?) I see you trying to balance everything with the weight of the world on your shoulders. 

I see you, still affected by the nasty remarks and judgment, at times unspoken, yet deafening. May be you do not show it as much, but oh it is there. I see you looking at your body, trying to silence the voices in your head that tell you “Well you could stand loosing a few pounds now, can’t you”, “Time to get that old body back!”.  

I see you trying to have one quiet moment to yourself. Shower in peace. Use the bathroom in peace. And then getting daily reminders that those days are, at least for now, gone. 

I see you trying to manage your toddler’s meltdown while also pushing a stroller with your youngest. I see you embarrassed in supermarkets and other public places because kids are kids, they are going to kick and scream and cry. But some people just don’t get it and are much more prone to judge than to help or encourage, even just with a kind word or a smile. 

Dear mama of 2, 4, 10… , you are a powerhouse. It is time to stop caring about the (extremely) unsolicited advice. You got this. YOU know what is best for your babies. You do YOU. That is the biggest act of bravery on your part. 

Dear loss mama, 

I see you. 

I see you trying with all your might to just make it through one more day. I see you being so terrified and emotionally reserved after finding out you are having a rainbow baby. And I am here to say that your trauma does not define you. It does not make you weak. Healing is not linear, dear mama, and grief does not care how many days/weeks/ months/ years went by since the day that turned your world upside down. So please be gentle with yourself. Today and always. Smile and allow yourself to feel happy, grieve when you need to grieve. One breath at a time. 

Dear LGBT+ mama,

Yes, yes it is 20-fucking-20 and our world still cannot quite come around to an idea that a child is incomparably better off in a loving, healthy same-sex household than in the system. Yes, there are still people who will pick at your children for having you as a mama. Yes, it downright sucks. But you are a fighter and your own biggest advocate. You might as well go out there and show your kid/kids how badass that is. There is an army of us who embrace you for exactly who you are and who you love. We are not going anywhere. 

Dear young mama,

A lot has been thrown on you at a very young age and a lot of growing up had to happen fast. A lot of weird looks were directed at you, a lot of comments about “babies having babies…” and, as a result, so much shame was inflicted on you. 

Dear mama, if only they knew your story. If only they took some time to see how bravely you take on motherhood every single day. Keep on going, dear mama. Do not give up no matter how much it feels like your world is crashing down. Later, you will look back on those sleepless nights and overwhelming, suffocating loneliness. And when you do, the pride you feel for you and your precious baby will make it all worth it. That is my hope for you and I will NOT loose it. Ever. 

Dear single mama,

How many times do you hear about how strong and courageous you are and think to yourself: “What other choice did I have?”. I imagine quite often. Those comments are still very very true, dear mama, but do you believe them? Because you should. No matter how good you feel about yourself as a mommie, you are your babies’ entire world. You are their safe space and what they know as home. Do you even realize how freaking badass that is? How freaking badass you are? Let’s not forget that no matter how hard it gets, dear mama.  

To a mama who has a weird/hard/estranged relationship with her mama,

First, I am so sorry that she could not be a nurturing, encouraging figure that you so needed. I hope you get to a point where you can forgive yourself first, and then find grace in your heart for her as well. I also hope you still have enough positive mother figures around you! It will never be quite the same, I know, but at least you've had a taste of love that you always deserved.


To a mama who is grieving her mama,

It will never stop stinging, dear mama, and when it washes over you, let it. A mother's love always lives.

Finally, to ALL mamas, 

When you look yourselves in the mirror, I hope you see what I see. An epitome of strength, courage and love. No one and nothing can take that away from you.